dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
