So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
