i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize