Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
