Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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