Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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