you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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