Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
