love makes seman taste better
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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