I must be too annoying 4 u.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
