The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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