Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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