WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
