How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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