i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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