We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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