we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams