I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
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TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.