also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
