i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?