he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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