i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.