I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We left an ass print on the piano.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes