ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
