Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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