Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
