i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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