Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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