..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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