I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
