video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
