The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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