and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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