what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Girls should come with a carfax report
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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