A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
