It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
