i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
