Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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