none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
