come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
