You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
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If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
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we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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