i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
