Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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