No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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