Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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