You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
