Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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