he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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