dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
