Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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