Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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