omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
