his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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