Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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