i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
