We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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