This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
