I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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