My first STD was from a foam party
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
