he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
