I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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