My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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