If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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