no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
