You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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