chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
