Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
