When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
