She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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